Did the Terrorists Win on Oscar Night?

Jon Stewart hosted he lowest rated Oscars ever this past Sunday. The montage-heavy show left most viewers yawning by the end. I guess everyone was either watching a Cold Case repeat on CBS or or switching over to an Office episode they DVRed five months ago.

According to Nielsen Research the three-hour-plus ABC telecast "averaged 32 million viewers, the smallest crowd on record—ever."

I personally think that TV stations have way high standards if 32 million viewers is bad. That is one out of ten people in this country. If you take out everyone that is in jail, overseas with the military or trying to talk Britney Spears into rehab - the number of people available to watch TV can not be that high. But I guess it is expected that every American that has a TV and is home must watch a show. I guess this is a lesson in patriotism (especially since every major acting award went to Europeans).

KFC Has No Religious Connotation

Followers of the Sample Platter's blog know we don't take kindly to misplaced references to food. And recently Tom Cruise made us hate him even more...than we normally would. In his leaked Scientology recruiting video (which has been spoofed about 1000 times in a week), Tom keeps referring to some Scientology technique known as KFC. I personally think the Colonel should take legal action against this blatant stealing of a trademarked abbreviation.

When I hear about KFC my my stomach craves biscuits that leak butter as much as the press leaks Britney Spears' whereabouts. I also become very self-confident, very quickly because I realize I eat KFC more than I take vitamins. But I stand proud by this American tradition and will not let Tom Cruise and L Ron Hubbard steal this treasured brand....And I will not enter a Whole Foods either.